The leg it wiggles just a hair.
Cold floor’s a haven for my stare.
My pulse – it races round…
Wall to wall, the whispers rush,
And burn my sweaty cheeks – full flush.
His gown it flows and feet they brush.
The gavel makes its sound…
He calls my name – my spit is caught.
I want to look, but I cannot.
Frantic mind, torn and distraught,
Just seeking safer ground...
I wish I HAD committed a crime
That I – not THEY – was putrid slime.
I’d let down ALL – not one – this time.
An innocent child clowned…
Ali,
ReplyDeleteI think this poem is so great! I love your use of rhyme scheme and how the word at the end of each stanza rhymes. I think that is a great technique. I think the third line "Cold floor's a haven for my stare" is a great line. Its my favorite one in the poem. I know a girl who had to stand in front of a jury and help convict someone and your poem reminds me of what she must have felt like. Court is a hard place for anyone to be and I think your poem helps convey that point. I am unsure of the title though because I am confused on whether or not the narrator actually committed a crime. In the poem, I feel like the narrator is just scared and innocent but the title suggests otherwise. Maybe that is the point, to keep the reader guessing. I do think this is a great poem though!
-SMW
Thanks so much Sarah Marie! After re-reading it a couple of times with your comments in mind, I think I may add a stanza or two to help better describe the exact situation. It is meant to be about a child called to pick between parents in a divorce custody battle, and the 'crime' is having to pick one over the other (he/she wishes that they had actually committed a real crime). I'll work on it. Thanks for the feedback though - I'm so glad you liked it!
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